Pivotal by Dee - Personal Life Coach and Moltivational Partner

The church was packed as the faithful sat on benches quietly waiting for the sermon to end. The sun on this day was scorching hot like the devil’s kitchen. I’ve never been in hell, and I don’t want to ever go there, but I can imagine if the participants of that place will be served with fire, what will be happening in the kitchen?

When the service ended, the priest shared his blessings “May the peace of God that surpasses all human understanding be in your hearts and souls now and forever more”, and we all said AMEN! In unison. People walked out of the church in small groups and others, my type, walk alone because we need time to absorb the word without distraction. A friend of mine caught up with me and a discussion ensued about many topics, but what struck me is the description of the church, that it’s the only place that shoots its own wounded soldiers. Her former church destroyed her emotionally and it took her quite some time to heal. She’s now settled having found a congregation that speaks one language. Her description of the hurt was the words that people used when she was at her lowest moment and how they skinned her alive and judged her without understanding the facts. I resonated well with what she said because this is not the first time, I’ve heard such stories. Why do people thrive in using hurtful words on others? How do we then find peace in a world that has so much hatred and jealousy? A world choked by its own thirst to destroy others and a lack of understanding about reality.

Peace is the highest goal in life and it’s the most fundamental requirement. We all aspire to live in a world that has no chaos, to live in our homes with harmony and in our communities with love and compassion. How do we achieve this if we are persistently seeking self-centered behaviors that promote the highest degree of selfishness? We act in a manner that leaves other people uncomfortable and bitter. As you speak, ask yourself, if today was the last day for this person, would you be happy with what you said last? Speak life to people.  Love humanity and seek to love and not control other people. Avoid arguments that leave your heart bleeding. Walk away from attachments that drain your energy. Find calmness in the heat of the moment. calmness brings tranquility. Learn to forgive, Remember, you do not forgive because people deserve to be forgiven, but because you deserve peace. You need to let off the baggage that overweighs your life.

Life is a short and silly skit, and before you lie in the arms of dawn and the stage is taken, believe in peace. Live In the moment, live in the breath, and while at it, seek peace. There are so many things in this world that make us worry and trigger anxiety. Last evening, I watched on the television news, a murder case, where the main suspect happened to be the wife. A killing so brutal. This is not the first case where the suspect ends up being the spouse. These were once an inseparable couple whose love story could have been an example to many until one day the enemy called unforgiveness, resentment, hate, name all kinds of evil, set in. Some things can be avoided, all you need to do is step back, and find peace, for it’s the only battle worth waging. If your current location or status is causing you unrest, relocate, when there’s still time, you are not a stone. Even the flow of the river changes when interrupted. The heart can heal but you’ll never recover a departed spirit.

We are not animals; we are people and being human is our business. We must endeavor to find peace within ourselves. Your peace of mind is your inheritance and that is our natural state. Know your ideal self. You know what you can handle and what you can’t handle. Shun perfectionism, no one is perfect, and nothing is. We all have flaws, and we learn how to overcome them each day. Be tolerant of people, this world has all characters displayed and we are all unique. What you like may not be the other person’s preference. Therefore, let’s all endeavor to live in harmony and in peace. “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
― Eckhart Tolle

The sound of the birds outside was melodious like a beautifully played flute. The sun was not out yet, but the brightness at the horizon was positive. It felt like this day was going to be great. Getting out of bed can be a tall order sometimes, but all this depends on the task at hand. I had to work out that morning, it was the 3^rd out of the 6 days set out for a workout. If I missed this one, it meant I would have a deficit. I did my affirmations and said a little cute prayer and I started my day. I guess I mentioned earlier that those exercises stimulate my happy hormones, on this day, I was positive that things will turn out marvelous.

As I ran on the field track, I met some athletes, guess they do this professionally, but I’ve never bothered to ask. I had prepared to complete a 15 km run and then top up with an abs session for 30 minutes. As I ran, I could not get off the thought of happiness. I remembered back in the day when we were little children, we danced in the rain without a single care in the world, we did mudslides, and ran after grasshoppers, hunted birds, and ate them. We harvested fruits in the wild and ate them without washing them. We ate all the dirty things and none of us fell ill. I guess the universe had a way of protecting our innocence. We were free souls until adulthood caught up with us. Adulting is hard and it comes with a manuscript of how we should live, behave, and tackle things. It comes with so many responsibilities that make us forget who we are. It robs us of our happy little souls and replaces them with worry.

Happiness is the ultimate source of satisfaction within us. It’s a hunt, a pursuit, an endeavor to improve ourselves through all difficulties. It’s more than a conveyance of being in a good mood. It’s a high level of contentment with what we have and where we are in life. We pursue happiness each day because it’s in our nature to do so. Nobody can make you happy until you are happy with yourself first. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they make the best of everything they have. Happiness is not wealth, relationships, or cars, these things bring momentary satisfaction. When you build a big house this year, you want a bigger one next year. When you buy a particular car this year, a new model comes next year, and the desire to have it is triggered. Your desire for needing material things increases each day but this does not mean you’re happy.

This life is short and unpredictable, knowing this, we must live fully today. Give this day your very best. Live your best moment now. Look yourself in the mirror each morning and ask, if today was my last day, would I die happy? There’s nothing as bad as leaving this life like you never lived, you just existed. Maybe, you were too busy chasing perfection and ended up being stranded with the dogma of other people's opinions over your life. These people don’t even know you; they only have a flipside of the chapter you’ve allowed them to know. They don’t know your struggles, your dreams, or your achievements. Take them for a show, then come back and live your life the best way you know how. Just be you, do you, Do not do things to please people or compete with them. All these things will leave you feeling void and unaccomplished.

Invest in positive relationships. Surround yourself with People who make you happy and bring out the best in you. Don’t chase, nothing is worth chasing, because, if it’s yours, it’ll fall in place without much struggle. Nothing is worth it if it doesn’t make you happy. Stop forcing people to stay if they don’t want to. In the end, they will hurt you. Create positive memory in every person you meet. Be good to people, the universe will reward you with the right people. If you surround yourself with two people who are unhappy, you’ll be the third.

Don’t allow the events of the past to ruin your present moment. Let by-gone be by-gone. Forgive, forget, and move. There’s a whole life ahead of you. Focus. In this world, there are a lot of bad things, and a lot of good things, focus on the good. Always stay positive in all things. Within no time, you’ll notice a pure glow because the ultimate source of satisfaction is within us.

I joined a zoom meeting organized by real success network as a member of their community. Les Brown was one of the keynote speakers scheduled for the day. As he shared experiences of resilience and tenacity, he talked about one of his most defining moments in Life. It was the day he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. At first, he felt like the world had crashed on him and there was little time left for him. He started imagining how his burial would be, how he needed to prepare his guest list for the burial etc. His health deteriorated and there was nothing much to celebrate. Life took a different turn when he started making positive affirmations for his life. He further said that indeed there is power in your tongue. What you confess you get; the universe carries the same energy that you project. It’s been 29 years today since that diagnosis was made and he survived it by giving the universe a proclamation that he is well and whole. He completed his talk by saying, life is for the living, Love, laugh, live, that’s all there is to do in this world.

The second speaker was Robin Bank. A South African motivational speaker who carries too much energy. He defined a moment that was quite comical but relatable to most of us. They had separated from his ex-girlfriend whom he had known for the last 6 years. They were living in the same block. Their apartments faced each other. 2 weeks after the breakup, one evening, while at his apartment, he noticed it was 8 pm and his girlfriend’s car was not in the parking lot. An hour later, he peeped at the parking again and realized the car was not there. He started becoming rather uncomfortable because in his head, His girlfriend had gotten a new boyfriend and now they were happy somewhere. He even imagined them married with children and having a life of their lifetime. Just a few hours and his head was spinning with ideas. He kept on peeping the entire night and no car showed up at the ex-girlfriend’s parking lot and neither did he sleep. The following day was a weekend, so his curiosity took him to the ex-girlfriend’s apartment. To his amusement, when he rang the bell, there was a response. The girl was there. He pretended that he had gone to borrow something then as they were chatting, he paused the question,” where were you last night, I didn’t see your car at the parking?’’. The response he got caught him unprepared. The lady was there the entire night, but her car was at the garage, so the mechanic promised to bring it once it was fixed. He could not forgive himself for lacking sleeping over some nonsense that he had fed his head.

Our mind is a complex organ that carries both the conscious and the subconscious mind. The conscious mind carries what you can see and it’s responsible for your rationalizing and all the logic you got. On the other hand, your subconscious mind harbors deep thoughts, it’s responsible for emotions, and depends on available information. This explains the reason behind our thought process. What you think in your subconscious is what you become. Why is it that some people prosper in life, and others fail, given the same environment, and same exposure? Some people become quite successful without a struggle and others toil, moil, and suffer even with all the inputs. The magic is all in our heads. The conscious mind is the gatekeeper, but the subconscious mind is what we need to feed with all the positivity. Our speeches, confidence, and reactions are all influenced by the way we think.

As highlighted earlier, in my 2 examples, Les Brown was made whole because he believed he was whole. He believed with all his being that he will conquer the monstrous disease because his purpose on this earth was not accomplished yet. That’s why each day he worked towards getting better. On the other hand, Robin Banks lacked sleep the entire night by feeding his brain with negativity and unexplainable insecurities. I guess we can call this “hot air”. How many times have we found ourselves trapped in situations that have given us palpitations because we chose the negative thought over the positive one? The universe is our playground, the energy we give is the energy we get back. That situation you think is impossible can be possible once you put your body soul and spirit in it. I know there’s a voice that tells you it’s not going to be possible because you failed last time. Think! what’s your end goal? To have a stable job. To get a stable relationship.  All you need is strategy and insight to open your access to your unlimited power. Make daily affirmations of prosperity. I’ve made it a pattern each morning to declare to myself that I’m blessed and highly favored. The difference in my life is tremendous. I’m glowing, my cup is full, and I’m open to all the universe gotta offer.

Shun the negativity and embrace the good of the land. There are tremendous opportunities in this life that only go to open minds. Shun the small voices that whisper to you, that you are worthless. We are all unique in our own little ways and we are placed on this earth to make a difference. Do your part, the universe will take care of the rest.

I was going around my business in the house when I heard my house manager say. ` yaani huyo ameuliwa sababu ya ugali”? I drew near to the television to listen to the full script. It was a fight that had ensued between father and son after the father ate the last piece of ugali. The son could not contain his anger and he hacked the dad with a hoe. What a tragedy! Was it the Ugali or some deep-set anger secondary to a series of baggage that the son had carried in his heart? There could have been a better way of handling this, a dialogue maybe?

Life can be frustrating, sometimes we feel like we are walking on eggshells, and we find ourselves angered by things around us and people for reserved reasons. We hold grudges from time immemorial. Every word we utter sounds like hissing and the venom that comes from our lips dissipates into nothing as it leaves our mouths. There’s pain inside so deep that we can’t explain. There’s a hatred so dense that we cannot decipher. There’s blame that you’ve harbored in your heart that doesn’t seem to leave your noble being and unforgiveness so tense that feels like a woven cloth. Your heart and your being feel like two worlds apart. You are stuck in a frozen mire, and your situation is out from the current, condensed, calcified, and stalled, you wish for some semblance of rudimentary comfort just for a moment.

There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. Letting go is leaving the table when your interests are no longer served. Nobody’s life is a straight line that makes perfect sense, some things will never make sense. Everybody has twists and turns and they do turn now and then. You’ve held so long to the blame. If it were not for my parents or my village, I would be this or that. If my friend didn’t get in the way, I would have been promoted at my workplace. Those are assumptions and you do not know what tomorrow brings. It belongs to God. Letting people go gives us our power back. When young birds leave the nest, they are forced to fly life’s test to the benefit of sustainability they must achieve. There’s a story of two monks shared of how they embarked on a journey, along the way they found a girl who was unable to cross a muddy field. One monk carried the girl and when they reached the other side where the ground was dry, he let the girl walk on her own. The other monk felt that the friend should not have carried the girl, it’s like teaching her shortcuts in life. They walked silently but upon arrival, the bothered Monk asked, ‘why did you have to carry the girl?’  The other monk replied’ Are you still carrying that girl and I let her go a while back?

Some things are constants and can never be changed. Accept the truth and be thankful that you encountered some people and some situations. Find the strength to embrace life’s changes and trust your intuition to leave when you can’t handle them. Learn as you go and carry along the experiences that add Value. Focus on what can be changed and do not waste your energy on what cannot be changed. Change the way you think about things. Review your options from time to time and reframe. Let go of your fears, mistakes, insecurities, and self-doubt.

Forgive yourself and forgive others. This is the biggest of all self-love tactics. Release the baggage of your heart. Do not allow your heart to weigh down because of an adult who has 32 sets of teeth and a whole mature brain. You are the one who suffers the most when you hold resentments in your heart. Claim ownership and control of your life. Part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself. You deserve happiness. Do whatever it takes to find your happiness. Happiness is a choice, it’s a fulfillment to the soul. There are two ways to live your life. One, living as though nothing is a miracle, two, living as though everything is. Which space do you wanna live in? I know mine.

Apparently, you are allowed to keep your distance from things, people, and situations. Distance yourself for a while from things that distract your spirit. Sometimes you need to take several steps back in order to gain clarity of the situation. You need to go back to understand why you began and how it began. If you find out that the journey did not fulfill that which it was intended to, you’re allowed to take a different path altogether. Do not cheat on your future with the past. Distance makes the heart grow fonder! Let Go and let God!

I stared at a rotisserie chicken make its turns in the grill at a fast food joint. I was blank like a dark sea, was I even looking at that chicken or imagining things? Sometimes I have an entire theatre with the audience in my brain and we make jokes in there. Pardon me the next time you see me excited for nothing. Now, at this moment, I was imagining the patience this chicken had. How many turns did it have to make to brown?

Was i even thinking about being patient? I know this stuff quite too well. I’ve trained myself to be patient with people, things, and situations because I know how easily I lose my cool. So, I’ve had to go through some learning in the school of life. This is where I developed my love for books, as I wait, I read. This helps kill anxiety and unwanted drama.

A while back while seated at a restaurant waiting for a friend, I bumped into a talk show called, ‘engage’. I have mentioned this here before. On this day, Caroline Mutoko, the Kiss radio presenter, was sharing how she lost on time on four different occasions. At one point they had a planned date on a Saturday with her best friend, and just a day before the date, she was informed that her friend had passed on. Then she had a scheduled discussion with the late Janet on issues surrounding early diagnosis/ misdiagnosis and treatment of cancer but just before they could draw a plan, Janet passed on, and she lost on time yet another time. She went on and on to share the other lost chances and I kept thinking to myself how regretful that situation is. In finality, she said, “there comes a time when you don’t make the time, you’ll run out of time”. That sat squarely in my spirit. It was deep. How many times have we refused to create time for the people who needed us, just pretending to be busy? People create time for what they love. So next time you want to prove something, create time.

 Sometimes you never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. We all got seasons in life and as we walk through them, let’s not forget that the only moment we are sure of, is now. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Life presents us with many chances, and how we carry ourselves when the opportunity comes gives us a chance to either win or lose.  Take advantage of the opportunity now, it may be the only chance remaining. Tell someone you love them now, or you care for them now or else you’ll lose on time. Tomorrow might be too late. Sometimes we drown under the waves of the words we weren’t saying, and they become scars. Talk about issues that don’t sit well with you now, things that scare you, this might save a broken spirit or a broken relationship tomorrow. Les Brown, once shared about regrets on deathbeds. The ghosts that haunt you the most on your deathbed are the things you never said, the people you loved and never told them, and the ideas you had that never materialized. Unfortunately, it’s a little bit too late on your death bed and you have to be buried with them.

Be intentional in the things that light up your “now’ moment. Dance in the rain, ski in the snow, sing in the shower. Go to the places you’ve wanted to go, and be happy. You’ll realize way too late that you walked on dusty paths with golden tin-mining underneath all your years but missed the chance to notice the treasure beneath because all along you were chasing after the wind and sweating the small stuff. Opportunities flit by, while we sit regretting the lost chances. Maybe your rigidity is the reason you’re still stuck in the past. Open yourself and flow my friend. Flow in the openness of the living moment. Don’t get stuck in the events of how yesterday was or what tomorrow will bring. God has it all figured out for you. Therefore, take chances, make mistakes, and fail at it, that’s how you grow. Leave no stone unturned. We all make mistakes and have struggles and regrets in past, but you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your future. Remember, the biggest regret is not death but living a life that you never deserved- an unfulfilled life.

A few years back one of the fitness sensationalists in this country called us out for a lady’s dinner. The dinner was set for fitness enthusiasts, ladies done with unhealthy habits and were committed to healthy lifestyles. As we walked down the runway on that beautiful evening, we clapped for each other. The room was full of pomp and color and style, and you could read the confidence in each participant's face. Age was not a determinant in the arena. We were all ages, winning in our own little ways. After all, we had come to showcase our results after great discipline and consistency. That night threw me back to my 20s when runways were my thing, and I could swing that beautiful body with all the energy therein and with calculated moves. This also explains my love for heels. I walk with them confidently just as I would do a pair of sneakers. We all swore that night that, we will love ourselves with all that we have and will be committed to living a healthy life. Long story short, I embarked on a journey toward a healthy lifestyle. I shut down the junkies and worked out every single day, the rest is history. My runway body is back like It never left.

Staying true to yourself and never letting yourself down even when all odds are against you is everything. True love is consistent, it’s about dependability and a coachable spirit. It’s a replication of quality, with the same principle over and over again. I’ve seen the discipline that athletes have when it comes to their training. They must show up each day as though the training itself is all they ever needed to survive. They show up even when a voice whispers, ‘’you can’t make it’’. Consistency is not about talent, sometimes it’s something you don’t like but you must do it to yield results. I don’t like burpees as part of my workout, but they are a great calories burner and abs toner, and I soothe my spirit to accept them each day I have to do them.

You must be willing to make sacrifices for you to reach heights. You must decide that at this very moment, I must take responsibility for things that matter. Your business or relationship or health is not working out well? Have you been consistent in walking the talk and changing things that don’t work? You’ve got the potential to do ultimately anything under the sun, but are you willing to practice the virtue of consistency without retaliating? It’s not the big chunk that makes you win the game, it’s the small little things accumulated over time. Go out with the skill and the will and do it over and over again and show up even if it doesn’t look like it’s working. When you step to the gym on day one and work out for 9 hours then wait for the results the following day, you’ll be so discouraged. But if you take 20 minutes each day consistently for a month, there will be a considerable difference.

Stay authentic to yourself and to your plan. The word on the streets lately is that people are forcing issues. Don’t you ever force anything in life, it’ll end up in premium tears.  It’s like forcing a tired donkey uphill. Unauthenticity is the reason we have failed relationships, failed businesses and failed ideas. When you are authentic, you create a certain energy, so strong, that people want to work with you and be around you. It’s the privilege of a lifetime to become who you truly are. Be real, do not be deceived, no one likes ‘fake’. Unfortunately, being real in a world that is constantly trying to be perfect is quite hard but be real anyway. Authenticity takes less effort, gives you a chance to grow, and makes you happier. You become self-aware of your own feelings and vulnerabilities and not bothered by other people's opinions. Be comfortable in your own skin and be comfortable in doing the things you like. You do not need external validation to thrive.  If you are “kienyeji’’, then upgrade it to Promax , you’ll be astonished at how many positive vibes you get. You attract more when you become real. Fake is rehearsed, you may forget the lines in your struggle to impress the world. Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be? Touch the refresh button and see the magic you’ll create.

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. “Jane Godall

I was reading a book, I’m a huge fan of thrillers when I want my heart to jiggle. I just kept on flipping pages like the sea shushing the storm, I’d go past some pages then flip back to the first to retrace my steps. Then, I realized I could not even see the book well; my eyes were wet. My friends will tell you that I’ve got a rocky heart with zero emotions. Wait a minute, was I crying? But for what? Did I read something that was not resonating well with me or what just happened? I searched my soul, and I felt like a bird with broken wings. Helpless and damaged by many things that I had encountered. 2021 was a learning year, it was a time when my whole world crumbled, and nothing was working. Not a thing. I felt trapped or like an apparatus floating in the air like a cloud. I had gone through hell and said hello to the demons of that place. I sometimes felt like running out of my own skin. The noise was a trigger to apprehensiveness. I stopped loving the things I love, and laughter was irritating. I kept the smile though, but it was an amateur smile.

 Sadness feels like falling but you never get to the ground. You are somewhere in between reality and unreality. An unknown world. It feels like there are open holes on solid ground, the kind you never knew was there until you go to the next step. It saps up your energy and life out of meaning and all the good things you’ve ever had. This is what they call rock bottom. If you’ve never walked in these shoes, then don’t be in a hurry to write about hope, because that is the last thing that lingers in the head. It’s a deep end that only the carrier of the sadness can redeem themselves.

I’ve had long periods of determination, and I’ve been the encourager, creative and passionate. I’ve always felt like I could shoulder all the problems of humanity on one shoulder and choke them with kindness. I’ve also loved life, fully and completely. But this was me, defeated and feeling powerless in my own judgments. How did I get here? I allowed a creation in my mind that made the whole situation looks so bad, then I met the demons, and they never leave until you reach a point of hopelessness. I have previously reached the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but this was a whole new level.

I needed to get out of this dark cloud as soon as possible but I had to trigger my heart and brain to know we were doing this. I sought help from friends and a professional. Thank God for my friends, they stood with me and still do, like a rock. I knew why I slipped too deep; self-pity took a toll on me. Someone once wrote” “Self-pity is easily the most destructive of non- narcotics, it’s addictive, gives momentary pleasure, and separates the victim from reality ’Self-pity carries with it uncertainty, self-doubt, and feeling powerless.

Slowly but surely, I snapped back to life by incorporating daily practices that were feeding my soul. I decided to shine the light on my life by doing positive and powerful things. I incorporated workouts into my daily routine, stopped sweating the small stuff, and started minding my own business. If something does not concern me directly, it’s outright that I won’t bother. I cut out some ties and built stronger ones. I’m a work in progress slowly but surely, I’ll get there. Healing is a process, it’s a practice and it’s intentional. Every day, I commit to seeking the good. To consciously look for the good in my life, in others, and in the world around me. I also commit to being grateful for the small moments, the genuine conversations, and to be content with my progress.

I still insist, on always being kind. Kindness is like salt; it spices up life. The smallest of kindness is more worth than the greatest of intention. People are going through enormous stuff out here and the least you could do is not judge but give out some love in the way of kindness.

To anyone out there going through stuff that makes you feel like giving up, you got a chance at life- Try one more time.

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world is over, it became a butterfly”

I’m not a common user of alarms but this day I had a special appointment and had to get to the office earlier than my usual time. I sluggishly got out of my bed feeling more tired than I slept. The previous day was a nightmare in the office, nothing was working smoothly that day. Work wasn’t moving, customers were all over with equal measure of frustrations, systems were not cooperating and to make matters worse it was a Monday. Tuesdays are a cousin to Mondays. They are not as blue as Mondays but not as shiny either. I managed to catch a matatu in time. Thank God there was no music playing loudly in the background otherwise my brain would be in disarray by the time I arrived at work. We were caught up in some slow-moving traffic, cities can be a mess. As we approached the town center, I could not get my mind off a mental institution along the way. I’ve interacted with these cases so I can imagine on admission the history is taken to read, arrogance, bizarre behavior, unkemptness, and so on. Some people are walk-ins. They just felt they were not okay and decided to seek help. They were probably caught up in an intertwined web of thoughts and misery and an overwhelming force of hopelessness. Their world fell apart. That’s why they were here. It’s okay not to be okay. Life can throw you into a pit and getting out is not easy. Seeking help is not a show of weakness but rather a strength.

I recently read a story narrated by Biko. I’m a huge fan of his articles, for the fact that he brings out humor even in a sad story. This particular one made me shed tears. A narration of how a child was attacked by leopards, beheading her, and leaving her lifeless body on the grandma’s compound. The mother suffered serious trauma and I hope time will heal her. It’s in such moments that we feel as though our world is shutting down. We feel like the curtains of darkness have been sent in our direction to shut down on us. In life, we pass through bad experiences, and I know each one of us, has had a moment that we’d never want a repeat. Painful experiences that look like horror movies that give us nightmares.

Difficult times have helped me to understand life better than before. Your life will consist of a series of times that you must reinvent yourself. Moments that you must rescue your soul if you want to live. We desperately cling to the idea that things will change no matter how tough they are. You may not be able to bury your tough times and put them down memory lane, but you can choose to keep a strong posture and look at the difficult times like mountains you climbed and conquered.

Remember, there are certain life lessons that you can only learn from struggle. And life is a school, it teaches us to wear the spirit of fighters and push through for a win. It may not be easy as it sounds, but you can choose to give a positive speech to your soul. Speak to your being more often. Tell yourself you can handle the tough stuff, and whisper into scary moments. Convince your soul that you deserve all the goodness that lies on the other side of hard. Be strong now, because things will get better, it might be stormy, but it can’t rain forever. Carry with you the eagle’s spirit of renewal. Pluck off all the unwanted clutter, hibernate, rejuvenate, then show up stronger than before.

Put on your courage shoes. Storms require preparedness. Life is a storm that will test you unceasingly. Don’t wait for calm waters that may not arrive. Derive purpose from resilience.  Courage sometimes is the quickest voice that roars loud from within, making faith a distinctive choice of compelling motivation to try again. Learn to listen to your inner voice in the silence and let your soul connect with the universe. Learn to sail through raging seas. When life throws lemons at you, catch them up and squeeze the bittersweet, spice it up with flavor. Say; `` I am a survivor of bad things that have happened to me and this too, I shall overcome.”

Therefore, put on your positive pants. Show up to the occasion and conquer the stressor with your positive vibes!

“If you hear a voice within you say,’ you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced. Vincent van Gogh.

Confidence is the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something. It’s not walking in a room and thinking you are better than everyone, it’s walking in and not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

I’m inspired by people's stories. Good, bad, humble beginnings, true, fiction. Do you know why? stories make a man. They influence your decisions and life at large.

I read many stories, but the one that inspired me recently is a story of resilience shared by Jalang’o. He shared his personal journey on Engage forum in Kisumu and all I could see was confidence emanating from someone who in his heart of hearts could not afford to give up. In one interesting part, he shares a story of how he became an employee at Kiss FM. The elimination process was in several parts, they were seeking candidates with degrees most specifically a degree in mass communication and the ones that had been in media before. Despite having none of the qualifications, he convinced himself that he was good enough, he moved with the ‘haves’, until he was asked for the documents, and he had none. Eventually, he got the job. The boss was indeed moved by his confidence.

His story resonates with mine, where in my first job, the company was recruiting a receptionist with computer skills. I applied for the job, with no qualifications at all. Not even computer literacy. I was asked if I knew how to use a computer and I said, ‘yes’. My interview was simple, typing a letter, and I can tell you the struggle was real. However, my confidence and passion carried the day. I was hired.

In my second job, they were recruiting marketing personnel. A degree was a mandatory requirement as part of the qualification and of course the ability to convince a client. I had no papers yet, but my interpersonal skills and confidence carried the day. I was hired. Was it luck? No! It was the belief that ‘I can't and I am more than enough. Your energy introduces you before you even speak. Richard Bradson said, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” I executed that perfectly.

More often, we lack confidence in the fact that we do not have experience, and we feel like imposters at work, or feel like failures amongst our peers just because we are not at the same level in education. These are oppressive traits that bring down your self-esteem. Do not be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs or small opportunities. once you conquer one, it makes you stronger. There’s power in small beginnings. Each task, at a time and you’ll see how far you get. Show up in every single moment like you're meant to be there. There’s no child who is born walking, it takes growth and development. Also, do not be distracted by criticism. No one can make you inferior without your consent. Remember, the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you. Do not allow negativity around you. You only have two options.  Coffee in one hand, and confidence in the other. Then go out and rock the world like you were meant to be.

Life is not easy for any of us. We must therefore have perseverance and confidence in what we do. We must believe that we are gifted with something, and this thing must be attained. We must be content with ourselves because once you feel you are enough, you do not need approval from anyone. You only have you, your goals, and the world as your arena. So, if you have a dream, don’t just sit there, gather the courage to believe that you can succeed, leave no stone unturned and make it a reality. Vibrate to that iron string, and in your lifetime of inhibitions, avoid being your number one enemy. May your heart remain strong and unbowed, Be the master of your own fate, The master of your soul. May confidence flow through your veins and ooze into your heart with a pulsation so high, that it keeps you on your toes.

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 I love the weekend vibes. When I’m not working, I take some time off ‘for me moment”. Soul searching is as important as food. I sat at a corner of an entertainment joint, the kind of place that has extensive lawns and some corner that looks like a manger with piles of hay and a piano, microphones, drums, and some beautiful girls with cowboy hats on the stage. A certain band was playing jazz music in the background, my love for music is profound. I flow with any genre so long as it’s musical and smooth. A man walked past me staggering. It was 5 o’clock for heaven’s sake. In my head, I reasoned he might have been on a drinking spree since morning. Anyway, that was none of my business. I have trained myself in recent times to mind my business sorely.

However, a thought crossed my mind and I started imagining how things have been dramatic in the past few years. Spouses have been killing each other for no sustainable reason. I dread watching the news sometimes because of the horror stories you get to watch. Recently, a story was featured of a lady who stabbed her husband because he used money supposed to buy food to drink alcohol with friends. The confusion in the atmosphere is eerie. Was it really the money or some hatred that has been piling up over time?  Most probably, it’s the lady who looked for this money through sweat and blood, and then she imagined her children would sleep hungry because of someone who is so selfish. Her reasons for killing are not justified, but this only shows the kind of frustrations people are having in society. Frustrations and lack of forgiveness and selfishness is the key reason why people get to nasty heights of terminating a life. The current political arena and the skyrocketing cost of living is not making things any better. Any simple trigger to the villain can end up becoming messy. How then do we contain ourselves into acceptable levels of sobriety in a stormy period?

We got one life. Do what you need to do to be free. If a certain environment is not favoring you, then move. You are not a mountain. Free yourself from the shackles of the community. I have seen people who have hated their entire village for not understanding them. If you can’t fit in, then opt out. Society can be cruel. Give love away to the ones who need it. There are people out there who are craving to get your love and give back love in equal measure. Don’t force issues on matters of the heart. There’s an African proverb that says” the heart eats what it desires. Kikuyu’s in the forum can translate that better. Create possibilities in your life, be open to goodness, and do not let anyone make you feel untrue. You must believe in yourself first so that the world can believe in you. Your energy inside illuminates the world then the world gives back the same energy. No one can take away what you create in yourself.

Desire to remain solemn even when the tide of time dares you. Sobriety is the moment of clarity and truth and commitment. Stand tall in your arena. Fight battles with a brave soul and insight. Some people come in as agents of the enemy to destroy you and test your patience. Waiver not, stand tall. Grab life’s bull by its horns and showcase your brevity like a tame lion/ lioness. Stumble and fall, get up, dust off, and get moving. I can’t insist on these enough times – get an army of friends that support your vision. Do not allow yourself to drown in the past fear. The past remains there, your vision cannot get stuck there. Move. Sobriety is today’s high. Live in the moment. Day by day, minute by minute. If you can’t handle much, prioritize your basics. Small chunks off your schedule every day and with no time, your goal is achieved. Do not beat yourself, life is no competition. You are the referee of your own life and your own top scorer. No one should rate your game, only you can do that.

Remember, a person with a calm mind can make anything. In the heat of any problematic issue, stay calm. You learn a lot in silence. When the ocean is building up a storm, the storm carries with it a treasure that only a keen eye can see. Breath in and relax. Life is never that serious and nothing is permanent. Maybe I can echo  King David’s word in Ecclesiastes that “vanity of vanity is vanity”. \Chill out – peace

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things" Nicolo Machiaveli.

It takes a lot of belief in self to understand that we can cruise the journey without having a direction. Sometimes we are expected to pave the road for ourselves. Take a hard road by day, sweeping obstacles away.

The journey to achieving what we want in life needs alot of patience and determination. The moment you doubt if you can fly, you cease to forever be able to fly.

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I love nature trails and all things nature. I like the sound of crickets in the bushes, I love seeing
the grasshoppers hopping and the birds singing. I love streams in the deep forest and the hush
sound of the falls dropping. I once stared at a river as though it were a person with sheer
amusement. I almost spoke to it like, “hey dude, who advised you to flow this way and not the
other way”? I cannot fathom the beauty at night, the stars dancing yonder in clear blue skies,
the moon portraying its fullness in pure surrender… and how does the sun know it’s time to hide
to let the moon be? It’s way beyond my understanding and as I stand in awe and amusement,
I’m perfectly aware that each element in the universe knows its purpose too well.
We’ve all sat in family baraza’s or chama’s or serious work meetings discussing agenda that are
supposed to complete a “why”? and at some point, we find yourselves discussing the “why’ of a
certain incident that didn’t sit well or the ‘why’ things should be done the way we think they
should be. Some of these discussions are heated and it feels like we are trapped in a thicket full
of thorns. No way out. Most of the challenges we experience to date are coupled by our past
experiences, our upbringings, and our own beliefs. We were left out of the self-awareness circle
and tricked into following other people's dreams and passions. The nature has presented us with
unique examples and yet as human beings, we’ve decided to limit our thinking to beliefs that
are not helpful
Your ‘Why’ is the sum total of who you are. It’s the reference point for all your decisions. Your
why comes from within- it is the tension of knowing that you no longer want to do what you are
currently doing because it feels off. You only do it because you feel obligated. Someone once
said “if you see your path laid out in front of you, step by step- you know that is not your path.
Your own path you make with every step you take. It’s hidden from plain sight; therefore, you
must captivate it. You create your own world day by day and there’s no map to life, neither are
there blueprints for survival. Your life is like a mountain, your goal is to find your path and to
reach your top.
Furthermore, you need to organize your life around your passion. The only tragedy in life is
spending many years doing something that you never liked, and, in the end, you’ll be
disappointed that you never accomplished your purpose on earth. There’s a statement from
Martin Luther that I love so much and that I live by,  once said,“ “If it falls your lot to be a
street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, like Shakespeare wrote
poetry, like Beethoven composed music; sweep streets so well that all the host of heaven and
earth will have to pause and say, “Here lived a great street sweeper, who swept his job well.”.
A ship is not made to stay safe at the harbor, its main purpose is to sail through the stormy tides
and waves. So, throw off the bowlines, go out and catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore,
dream, and discover. Feel the power that emanates from focusing on what excites you. Turn
your story into something bigger, something that matters. It’s okay to do the things the way you
want them. Once you find your why, find a way to make it happen and never again hit the
snooze button. Your power is your radical self. Stay true to your calling and stick around people
who get a spot in your blanket fort. Find your motivation. That thing that tickles you off the
ground and makes you want to do things persistently. Finding your path isn’t about careers and
money, it’s discovering your authentic self. The one you’ve buried beneath people needs.
Breath in the essence of new thoughts and go out in the open- find your north star.

''Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time" We are the one's we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek" - Barrack Obama

Change is needed to necessitate a pivot. We cling into things not because we do not want change, but for fear, resistance and doubt.

Fear is inevitable in some instances, and change is scary.However, you must talk to your heart to turn back. Let the pounding of your heart not scare you from achieving your dreams.

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"The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs" Joan Didion.

Have you ever wondered why most of the time you are overly busy taking care of things that do not build you?
Over time, you have forgotten your values and standards in life, instead, you have become a 'people -pleaser'.
You are either attending this persons' needs or the other, but you got no time for self-care.

How about deciding this moment that you are never again begging for attention from anyone. How well do you love yourself ,and willing to sacrifice the best part of your life, in acknowledging your self-worth?

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"There's a marked difference between acquintances and friends. Most people don't really become friends. They become deep and serious acquaintances. But in a friendship, you get to know the spirit of another person;and your values coincide". Maya Angelou.

Most of the time , we confuse acquaintances for friends. These are people who walk with you when the journey is easy , but, when you get to the rock bottom and in dire need, they disappear never to be seen.

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